How to get quality feedback from your team
(Scroll all the way down for TL;DR)
Remember the last time you asked for feedback at work? Maybe a new role has just been assigned to you, and you're eager to succeed in it. You tried a bunch of smart moves from the book, but the team didn't seem enthusiastic, the silence was frightening. You asked a few of them directly for feedback. The result? They told you “It’s good, I’m fine (subtext: well what do you want me to say?)”
Some of them might give you a few points about the “opportunity for improvement,” something like “I don’t really like this XYZ part that you did.” And God forbid, they themselves are the worst in the team at XYZ. Your blood pressure went over the roof and all you could think of now is “Who are they to tell me that?!”
Feedback doesn’t need to be so awkward
Imagine a world where feedback is given and received clearly and naturally, without stress or awkwardness. Imagine the feedback conversation feels honest, improvement is supported, and you walk away feeling energized, knowing that your team has your back. This is not a wishy-washy motivational fairytale. In this article, I will share with you the framework I developed after asking for feedback for myself for over a decade.
Stress-free and useful feedback exchange is possible with a simple shift in approach. It all starts with the scientist's mindset.
The scientist's mindset is to see feedback as data
They say you should never spill the beans so fast in your blog post, but there, I did it – comment below if you will stop reading from here and leave the site, I need your #feedback. 😉
For those who continued to read, I will now explain what I meant by “seeing feedback as data” and how to do it.
First, let’s look at some common misconceptions of feedback.
What feedback is NOT
Feedback is not an opportunity for the feedback-giver to complain.
No feedback does not mean you have done a bad job.
No feedback does not mean you have done a good job either.
Feedback is not the closure of a project.
Ok, see feedback as data, but how?
The scientific feedback method goes like this:
Ask a genuine, objective question about an area of your performance. Be careful to separate doubt or frustration from genuine questions.
“I don’t know if my boss likes my work” is likely a doubt
“Why don’t they understand this method will not work” is probably an expression of frustration
“I want to know how to help the team have more objective discussions in meetings” is more like a question
Collect context information and narrow it down to a few hypotheses. A hypothesis is a statement that can be proven correct or false.
If the focus is on your performance, the hypothesis should be something about what you do and the expected impact of it. For example: “If I add some touches of humour to a tense meeting, it will help my teammates relax.”
If you want to get some first insight into a topic, the hypothesis may be a simple statement. For example: “My team is able to agree on what they would like to improve as a team.”
Design the experiment.
Who – From whom will you ask for feedback and why these individuals?
Impact – If your hypothesis is correct/false, how will it influence your future actions?
What are the follow-up questions you will ask in each scenario to get more information? Follow-up questions might look like this:
“Great, so you don’t think humor could help us have more relaxed meetings? If it’s up to you, what ideas do you have that you think could help?”
“So you think we as a team should improve X. In your opinion, what might be a challenge on the way?”
Now you are ready to go and collect feedback! When asking for feedback, make sure that you’re collecting clean data, that means:
Explain your question and hypothesis. This will eliminate the stress of thinking of “something nice to say.”
Clarify that you are not looking for their evaluation – you could tell the feedback partner that they should not use words like good or bad. This way, they don’t need to worry about potentially hurting your feelings by giving “negative” feedback.
Don’t tell them your plan! Theoretically, even you shouldn’t know what you want to do next, because the next step depends on the result of the experiment. But sometimes you are excited about a solution idea and can hardly keep quiet about it. Be careful, once you share your plan, you’re no longer asking for data but approval, and this puts you and your feedback partner in an anxious spot again.
Don't debate
Don’t ever debate while collecting feedback.
Getting feedback is like collecting data after a scientific experiment. You don’t debate with your petri dish why the bacteria only grew on one side and not the other, do you? You note the data down and start analyzing what caused this result because things are the way they are for various causes and those have nothing to do with your preferences.
If you feel like debating, ask yourself these questions:
Do you feel denied? Does the commentator use language that you associate judgment with?
Can you assign what was said to the commentator’s local perspective and not take it as a statement of universal truth?
If the commentator has the habit of agreement-seeking (” This is not good, don’t you think?” “It should be like this, right?”), return the question and get back on track with feedback. You can ask “Well, I’m asking you, so you tell me. 😉”
Of course, after you’re done retrieving valuable feedback from your conversation partner, thank them for their feedback and then fire up the debate session all you want.
Is this the only way?
Of course not, most of the people who feel at ease with judgments simply charge into the feedback arena and come out quickly with their prizes. These people can filter out the useless complaints and praises and keep only the good ideas and insights offered to them.
Can this framework still help judgment-resistant people?
Absolutely. Just because you’re not awkward about judgment doesn’t mean your feedback partner is not feeling awkward. The scientific feedback method will help everyone get better quality feedback, have more fun, and have less stress with feedback.
The scientist’s feedback mindset will change the “feedback micro-climate” around you because it soothes people from the anxiety of judgment during the feedback process. If you happen to be the leader of a team – even better! You are in a great spot to effectively encourage your team to adopt this behavior.
As you practice these techniques, you’ll notice a shift not just in your own receptiveness to feedback but also in how your team interacts. Feedback will no longer be the elephant in the room but a bridge to better understanding and collaboration. Use the scientific feedback method and see your relationship and collaboration with colleagues improve.
Curious for more?
The journey of shifting the feedback culture is not a sprint, it's a marathon that takes practice. But remember, every step you take will bring you closer to transforming your team’s communication, leading to a more trustful team culture, which has been proven in several studies to be a significant contributor to higher-performing teams.
And, as always, I’m here to support you on this exciting journey towards better feedback. For teams smaller than 7 people, I have created a step-by-step workbook for practicing and implementing the scientist’s feedback mindset in 30 days.
If your team has over 7 people, or if you are thinking about transforming your organization’s feedback culture, book a free discovery call for team coaching with me – we will see how we can tailor a suitable program for you that guarantees results.
Happy experimenting, and here's to creating a more open, constructive and feedback-rich environment at all our workplaces! 🥂🎊
TL;DR
Requesting and giving feedback feel awkward for many people because feedback is often (wrongly) associated with judgment
Feedback is not an opportunity to complain or evaluate work, and it shouldn’t happen only at the end of a project.
Using the scientist’s feedback mindset means looking at the area you want to improve as a hypothesis and treating feedback as an experiment for your hypothesis.
Don’t talk about your ideas and plans when asking for feedback – it turns feedback session into approval seeking.
Don’t debate when receiving feedback. If you feel the urge, ask yourself whether the conversation made you feel denied or judged.
The scientist’s feedback mindset can help you get better quality feedback even if you’re not afraid of asking for feedback because it helps reducing the stress on the feedback giver.
Get my free workbook “28 days feedback transformation for teams”
